The Dominix and the Devoteron 2014-03-25 by raylu
"Do you want to kill a hole-rolling Dominix?" my corpmate asks? Do I ever. I sign on and ask him if he has eyes on it. "I scanned down the wormhole he was rolling and I'm reshipping now, so no."
That's no problem, of course. We ship up and warp a cloaky each to the hole. Instead of a Dominix, we see a Gallente Battleship Wreck. The plot thickens.
A quick check of the killboards reveals that, before we had signed on, A large group ganked the Dominixes that we thought were rolling the C2 wormhole but were actually just trying to get back.
Later, they actually do try to roll it and make it critical. They send a Devoter with 4 bubbles through. In a stroke of great/terrible luck, it collapses, trapping the Devoter with me. He drops probes and cloaks up, so I wait for him on the C1.
After I kill him, he sends both of my characters mail:
Твинкованая тупорылая ебота
From: KEVing Godless
To: raylu C, raylu D
Прыщи иди дави, хуесос недоделанный.
Google Translate doesn't do so well on this, so I ask my Russian-American friend.
> this is pretty fancy
> o wait
> I'm starting to get this
> the body is "go squeeze pimples, unfinished cocksucker"
> I have no idea about the subject
The next day
I get another mail on one of my characters:
Тупая хуйня не молчи
From: KEVing Godless
To: raylu C
Хуй то выплюни изо рта, уебок
Google Translate fares somewhat better and at least gives us the gist of it:
Dull garbage do not be silent
Dick then spit from the mouth, motherfucker
Final score: Russian tears have a much longer preparation time but you can have the leftovers the next day. 10/10, would kill again.
I noticed the mail when I signed on to scan our home system. There was a wormhole to TRKN-L, a ratting system for Circle-Of-Two. What follows is a very short story:
[19:38:19] EVE System > raylu D is now in proximity of the Encounter Surveilance System
[19:39:49] EVE System > Myzzrael is now in proximity of the Encounter Surveilance System
[19:41:55] EVE System > Myzzrael is now in proximity of the Encounter Surveilance System
Boing (that's the sound a Harbinger makes when it bounces off an LCO while trying to warp).
Later, more mail:
Your ESS contribution was stolen
From: Caldari Navy
Sent: 2014.03.25 23:24
raylu D chose to take the value of the ESS pool in the form of tags. The pool was 43,107,750 ISK. You contributed 290,456 ISK to the pool.
Final score: ESS are great for content creation. 9/10.